Are We There Yet?

I guess this baby will get here eventually... However, Rachel is ready to get that baby out of her now. I don't blame her since I wouldn't want a 25 lb. lead weight strapped to my belly every day. On the other hand, her belly doesn't scream or soil itself, so there's that side to consider. I don't have to change her belly at all. There's nothing stopping the inevitable, it's just a weird waiting game.

A Crappy 4th of July Analogy

Wow, two posts in two days... And most of you won't read this for weeks to come 'cuz I've been so lazy lately. Oh well. It's relavant today while I type it. :) Anyway, I was asking a local friend about where in Grain Valley to watch fireworks on the 4th. He said that sitting on your back porch would be the best. Now, in my old home town a few miles away, there were folks setting off hundreds of dollars of fireworks all around, but in Grain Valley, it's flat enough to get a great view to see all around. Basically, I got more than a 180-degree view of some of the most awesome amateur fireworks displays I've ever seen! I mean, people were forking over tons of money for the stuff I saw. We packed half of the Moluf family on my tiny deck to watch (the other half had left to drive home). At one point, Kevin asked me how much all of the 40 or so displays we were able to see must have cost totalled up. "Oh, at least $10 grand and probably much, much more..."

So that got my mind on this pathetic analogy: Watching those fireworks reminded me of the American economy. Really... We pump a bunch of money in buying worthless stuff with the single purpose of making us say "Oooh, ahhhh. Coooool!" Think of all the gadgets Americans buy each day... HD-TVs, computers, video games, cell phones, iPods, iPhones, Hummers, Corvettes, etc. After 9/11, we were told to keep spending money just to keep the economy from collapsing. We've heeded that request way too well. Of course, the rest of the world looks at the way we're dropping Ben Franklins at the fireworks tent or warehouse and say, "Dat'sa ridiculoso!" But later on, they look at all the amazing results of the fireworks and they get hypnotized the same way we do. So they invest their money in our country's tireless effort to increase our debt so they can watch the show, too (and earn a tidy profit). And like the fireworks, most of the crap we buy is made in China and they're laughing all the way to the bank as our money goes up in smoke.

The show was beautiful... while it lasted.

Life in the Fast Lane

It's been a long while since I posted last. I even had some great stuff to talk about on here since then, but life has been busy lately. First things first, I flew to Miami on business. My company makes hospital software and we were installing it in the 17th largest hospital in the US. So we sent planners down for several years to get it drawn up, then installers for a year or so, then trainers for the last few months. Finally, the job of 250+ of us was to walk around the various hospitals, clinics and other such places and make sure they were able to use it the first 2 weeks it was up. For those who don't know, doctors and nurses are not trained in computers, they are trained in treating people, so our system is more of a distraction and sometimes a hindrance for them.

I got placed at a clinic in north Miami (to the left) in a part of Little Haiti where the main language is Creole. Notice the barbed wire around the place... Yeah, being the only white boy in town had a certain air of... well, security wasn't the word. So I trained these folks for a whole week and tried to help transfer their minds from their old, "easier" system, to the "new-and-improved" system. The first day, I was teaching one gal how to point and click. It took 20-30 minutes to schedule one person. It used to take less than a minute. Frustrations were high, I didn't know the process, life was less than fun at the time. Basically, I'm an engineer (read: programmer monkey), and they had me pretending to be an expert, a trainer, a hand-holder, a receiver of yelling and complaining, a calming force, a help desk, etc., etc., etc. By the end of the week, I had done all that and also played the role of a plumber (the urinal kept flushing until an inch or two of water was on the floor), a printer repair person, a psychologist ("Zee old system ist merely a feegment of your eemagination. Dee new seestem eest better."), and a delivery boy (lunch needed to be served to the lead administrator a couple of days since she was working longer hours than me).

By the end of the week, I had helped them to finally be able to teach each other how to use the system (see right for proof). It was pretty cool. I mean, I'm not a teacher, but I got a good lesson in how to help others learn. The first thing I learned: Don't expect anything. Sure, have objectives you want to teach. You want to set goals. But don't be shocked if most don't learn them. Don't be shocked if nobody cares (you teachers out there are laughing at me). I was fortunate enough to have a very patient (pun intended) clinic, so teaching them useful stuff was difficult, but it seemed to take hold over time.

I learned through all of this some things that I will definitely keep in mind when/if I get to teach in the future (perhaps even in the Kingdom). Again, have little to no expectations of progress. People learn at their own rate. Just plow ahead... with a plan.... sorta. Be flexible. I was all over the place in the clinic learning their jobs as they learned my system. I'll had to learn how people learned and then taught them accordingly. In the Kingdom, we'll have a lot of information and wisdom, but we'll be dealing with people who don't. Always be positive. Adults need constant praise. Putting them down is a no-no, or so I've been told. Especially when humility isn't on their to-do list to learn that week. :)

In other news, I'm still having a baby. Rachel is one month out from the due date, or at least that's what the latest estimates are. We've finished our Bradley Method class (or Lamaze for Hippies), we've toured the birthing ward and Rachel has had her baby shower. Needless to say, reality is truly setting in. If I hear, "Your life will never be the same" one more time I think I'm going to punch a wall (you parents out there are laughing at me). Of course, that will get me out of changing diapers the first month or so, right? Nah, I'm looking forward to it in many respects. It's just hard when you hear existing parents sound like schizophrenics when they tell you about parenting. "Oh it's great. The greatest thing ever. RUN! YOUR LIFE WILL BE MISERABLE FROM LACK OF SLEEP!!!!" Of course, the constant lack of sleep possibly turned them into schizoids, so this blog should take an interesting turn starting next month, assuming I have time to post again.

The Illusion of Competition

I was having lunch with a friend today and we were discussing problems with governments, society and our individual thinking overall. I was trying to come up with a reasonable explanation of the underlying problem with people's thinking and why these problems continue to occur. We came up with one possibility...

We brought up a philosophy of competition called Game Theory that describes how people consider their opponent's next move in order to gain more for themselves. Every game that I've played generally follows this theory in some way, hence the name. One example is that a nice player will always lose to one who's willing to take advantage of that niceness. Another is to be willing to lose a little bit to gain a lot. Yet another is to play tit-for-tat, or only strike out when attacked. Or in a win-win situation, let's say where there's a bundle of money on the table with several opponents sitting around it, do you grab all you can as fast as you can, everyone getting some, but some getting far more than others (usually the ones with the advantage of longer arms or bigger hands). Or do you try and talk the table into splitting it all evenly if you're at a disadvantage? Even then, how do you know that they will be fair in doing so?

So how does this tie into mankind's problems today? In an article I found earlier, the author took this theory a step further than just games and said that in our desire to compete, some people take a short-term approach and others take a long-term approach. Do you try to take as much as you can now, taking advantage of people's weakness or kindness, or play a strategy that will win in the end regardless of making some sacrifices? In one example, if you travel to a third-world country, you might have street merchants jump all over you trying to sell you a worthless trinket. Many tourists throw money at them just to be left alone, however, they've learned their lesson not to go down that street again. However, you go to your local Target and quality merchandise is just sitting there, no one hassles you, you get what you want and go. Which model of sales develops long-term customers? The author proceeded to broaden that concept to whole cultures and how some countries' leadership try to address the current problems or address short-term problems in order to look good now or to calm growing disorder. Whereas more successful countries tend to pass laws that have future generations well in mind regardless of the pain those laws may cause right away.

Criminals, delinquents and spoiled brats tend to have that 'take all I can', 'have fun right now' mentality whereas more well-balanced, mature folks have a more patient attitude in order to have better benefits later on.

This all seemed to make sense... Except then I had a nagging thought: This is all based on COMPETITION! People using varying strategies to get ahead of others. Some just flat out silly, some far more complex or even sinister.

So I asked my friend, who is more atheistic than religious, if he knew of any cultures that didn't value competition the same way we in capitalistic societies do. As I expected, he couldn't think of any. Neither could I. Even in the most simple villages in Africa, there is probably some form of competition to eat more of the lion, or have the most children to carry on your namesake, or to take from others just stay alive. However, we in the U.S. thrive on this idea. Capitalist nations teach that competition is the best way to foster growth, innovation, ideas and most of all: money. The "Good Life". It was this type of thinking that came up with evolution, and it's this type of thinking that views everything we see in nature as following those competitive rules. We love our sports and athletes as well as shrewd business billionaires who continually vie to be the most rich.

So I wondered about what God thought of competition. Could it be that He doesn't think much of it at all? I mean, He has His Law that we are supposed to follow. There are True Values which we are supposed to keep. Since these ideals are as built into the universe as gravity, could it be that the individuals and societies that get closest to keeping God's way of life are rewarded the most? I'm not saying God is fooled by those who act nice just to get ahead. He knows our intentions. But it's not a stretch to think that He would still reward us for good behavior to prove the point that His way works. I've heard there are many CEOs and executives who read Proverbs even though they aren't overly religious men. There's just solid truth there. Are there times where the U.S. or other nations happen upon the best way to do things by building character after a huge war, let's say, or suffering through a Great Depression, and are humbled to do things in more virtuous, courageous way? Or are we stuck with the image of Michael Douglas in the movie Wall Street saying, "Greed is good. Greed works."?

Is competition as a force for improvement just an illusion? Do capitalist societies like America succeed prosper because of competition and democracy (majority rule), or because God promised Abraham a great nation and we as a nation try to keep similar versions of God's laws? My opinion is that leaving God behind for our professed gods of competition, democracy and capitalism will be the death of us.

But we're so inundated with competition in our daily lives that we naturally argue that it's necessary. Some may argue that the best athletes are so because of competition. I would agree with that in many cases. But to what purpose? Do we play sports just to win? How does a highly-competitive individual act when they lose? Would a more helpful reason to play sports be to get good exercise, build camaraderie, skills, talents and sportsmanship? Perhaps teaching and playing with less-skilled players with a patient attitude? To learn how to vent frustration properly? Even to learn how to lose with grace??

Some may argue that the best companies are the most competive, like Microsoft or Wal-Mart. However, those very same practices that got them there are slowly killing them. Companies who follow Wal-Mart's scheme underpay employees with little to no benefits, underbid suppliers because of their size and buy from suppliers in foreign countries that exploit workers and children. All while giving the customer lower prices, many times at the expense of quality. Microsoft pays well and has wonderful benefits, but I've been told that you shouldn't expect much of a home life. 70-90+ hour weeks are common-place in uber-competitive software and other white collar companies. And both destroy smaller businesses with pleasure. However, companies who cater to their employees and their families, to the customer, and deliver high quality and good customer service suffer some expenses to do so, but many times are far more successful than their competitors. CostCo vs. Sam's Club (Wal-Mart) comes to mind.

This blog entry is starting to get to excess, so I'll try to wrap up here. Basically, with our fleshly bodies being fairly self-contained and self-centered (Romans 7:23), competitive and selfish behavior seems to be natural to this world. The god of this world, Satan, probably helped make that one of the standards of behavior (think Cain and Abel), so there's definitely some truth there. However, I don't believe that's the expected behavior that God wants from us. God's way is unchanging, His Laws are perfect, His character flawless. Who can compete with that?? The answer is obvious. And when it becomes obvious that there's no competing with God's standards, surrendering to Him becomes much easier. It also makes it easier to deal with other people, I think, with a less-competitive attitude. Let God provide a job rather than competing for it. Let God feed us. Let God handle a difficult situation. Use His form of non-competitive leadership which focuses on helping others rather than worrying about our own position and power. It probably starts to make everything easier once we dump all the garbage this world has fed us in that regard and follow Him completely and whole-heartedly. 'Cuz let's face it, God could kick our butt in a game of basketball. :)

Brawny Brain Building

Every once in awhile, I find a cool article on personality-building. Since I'll be having a kid of my own soon, it seems even more pertinent to figure out how we develop personality, character and talent in an uplifting and edifying way. That said, this article from Newsweek discusses some recent tests that prove some age-old techniques in building confidence and a desire to grow in people, especially children.

Basically, they gave an IQ test to two sets of children. To one group, they told them they did a good job and how smart they were. To the other group, they told them they did a good job and how hard they must have worked to get the score they did. The first group tended to view their accomplishment as a level of achievement that is fixed and can't be changed. The second group believed that their efforts got them to where they were and continued to push forward to new learning and growing. The first group even began lying about their scores because... well, read the article.

In another test, the therapist told one older group of children that the brain is a muscle and can be built stronger. The other group was told nothing. Obviously, the first group went on to work hard to grasp higher mathematics. The other group is now in prison... Oh wait, no, that's not right.

Anyway, it was interesting to see that not only do you need to praise your children and encourage them, or even friends and loved ones, but how you encourage people is very important, too. Or maybe I'm just full of all this phony-baloney, new-age psychology junk. Or maybe everyone already knows this but me... OH, I'M SUCH A LOSER!!!! GIVE ME SOME SORT OF DRUG TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER!!!!!!! I'm okay now.

Gas Prices

If you're one of those people tired of paying high prices in gasoline and forward on emails about boycotting certain gas retailers, think again. Most experts say that won't have any impact on the market except to the individual owners of the gas stations themselves. Instead, according to this article, we must look at our own driving practices and change them, even if ever so slightly, to make a difference. The two points? Simple:

1. Quit driving like a jerk (gunning the accelerator and braking at the last minute).
2. Slow down (you don't have to be grandpa out there, just keep your RPMs lower on average).

That doesn't seem terribly hard. Apparently, even a 1% decrease in demand will settle down a simmering market much like turning down the stove slightly will stop water from boiling over (using the author's own metaphor). So if you can save even one gallon a month in gas by observing and changing your driving behavior, you can actually help make a small dent in demand. And a 7% decrease, which is what we had from August last year to January this year, dropped prices almost a dollar! Spam this info to the world instead of gas boycotts...

Kansas City, Here I Come!!

So any more of you single people moving here? Man, it's raining men... AND women! I think I've counted 5 new people that are moving or have moved out here (Cherie just got here tonight), and that doesn't even count Infinity who's moving only 100 miles to the east of here. We're glad to have ya'll, so let us know and we'll leave the light on for ya' (even if you're just passin' through).

Seared Brains, Anyone?

Have you ever noticed that when you make a mistake and realize it, you have a kind of, "Oh crap!" reaction? Did you ever notice any kind of shock, feeling of dread or painful sensation with that? According to some new research found in this Newsweek article appropriately titled, "Oops, I Did It Again", there's a part of the brain that alerts us when we make the same mistakes over and over again by sending out a negative reaction, or electric shock. It comes from the part of the brain called the anterior cingulate cortex that signals what psychologists call ERN, or "error related negativity." Of course, there's a flip side to this. If you constantly make the same mistakes over and over again, the ERNs begin to weaken. This is possibly why some people never learn from their mistakes. If you tend to reason around errors in your life now, you are essentially rewiring your own brain to ignore them in the future, too. So when we say we're just having fun now and will change later, you may completely lack the physical ability to care or be shocked by your own actions in the future to effectively do something about it! This brings a whole new meaning to "searing your conscience", doesn't it? :)

The study also noted that "the subjects who were most impulsive and antisocial had EEGs that were quite different from those who were low on these traits." This points to the importance of self-control and fellowship with others of like minds. Of course, the human brain is capable of being rewired to send stronger signals for our mistakes as we correct our behavior while following God's way of life and building character. I'm sure a physical component of "building character" is reprogramming our brain to reward us when we do the right thing and to sting us more when we make mistakes. This is vital for raising kids, too (as I will soon learn). That's probably one of the main reasons why King Solomon wrote about learning proper values in our childhood years, "Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Prov. 22:6).

What Could Bee the Problem?

I stumbled upon this artice earlier about large populations of honey bees used to pollinate various crops are disappearing for unknown reasons. The article mentions that it doesn't necessarily affect staples, but certain veggies, fruits and nuts. I guess it's widespread enough that they're going to hold congressional hearings about it. I'm sure that will do a lot of good.

Slightly Lighter Topic...

...OK, not really. But the last topic was probably too heavy and too vague to really discuss. So I'll try something different. The one thing the media keeps coming back to on this shooter in VA is how odd and different and morbid his thinking was... and it was. But many newscasters sat there in complete shock about his behavior and asked why more people didn't do anything about it. I sat there in disbelief, too. Do these people really know what modern schools and kids are like??? I went to school with 10-15 kids that acted like Cho did. Some of them did carry guns. Some of them would never look you in the eye. They wrote awful poetry and sick stories and kept to themselves or their small group of odd friends. I even befriended some of them later on because I, too, was in that "not accepted by normal people" group for awhile (probably not the smartest thing I ever did, but I'm pretty accepting of just about anyone who's willing to be friendly).

Chris Matthews on MSNBC told one of Cho's suite mates that in his day at college, they would never have put up with a roommate that never talked or never looked at them in the eye. "I guess you have much more respect for diversity than we did." I took that to mean he would have beat him up or changed rooms or reported him or something. I think anymore, we're so used to people being weird, slightly off or just plain out there that we don't pay it as much attention as we should. People not from this generation must not have an idea of how much anti-social people are out there in this modern world. And having been out of the school system for over 6 years and high school for over 10, I'm sure it's even stranger than when I was there. Oh sure, people would still get beat up physically or verbally for being odd in my HS days, but there was definitely a shift to just completely ignoring those same people in college.

I have a couple points to make from this observation:.

• One, this world has definitely changed and is rapidly changing toward the worse. That has been obvious for quite some time.
• Two, these kids that think and act this way are more and more turning inward until they block out everybody who reaches out to them, even in subtle ways except those who "understand them". Thus, they block out family and many times friends who genuinely want to help them and rather befriend angry, bitter kids who share the same viewpoint (Columbine boys), or worse, go completely loner on us (ala Cho or Ted Kaczynski). Most folks, in turn, don't pay attention to them because they're weird or because they say or do awful and strange things. I'll hear many of these kids repeatedly say, "I don't care," but you know they do. Otherwise they wouldn't be seeking the kind of attention they do. This cycle continues until a major lashing out occurs at a society they feel completely torn away from and mocked by. Analyze that last statement more carefully: they walk away from others and then get frustrated and angry when others don't try to understand them, care about them, follow them, etc. See how selfish that is? And yet, that is the very attitude that causes so many people to do their own thing and never return. It's a powerful Satanic device.
• Three, (I feel like I should be using the numbered list now instead of bullets), what are you and I doing to reach out to these personalities? I'm a sucker for people that had to feel the same way I did growing up... Picked on, alone, etc. I wrote the occasional angry poem about rich kids and people's attitudes of superiority and snobbery. But even if we don't understand or relate to these people, we can still impact their lives. I remember a fairly popular guy in HS that would take the time to talk to me a few times just to be friendly. All the others usually ignored me or picked on me. But he showed me that people can be nice. What if you (I'm making the large assumption that you're "normal" and nice) did the same to someone strange to you? Maybe you'd give that person enough hope not to dive into selfish, inward, suicidal or even murderous rampaging behavior. People who have these tendencies need hope. They need solid friends. They're drowning in a sea of angst, anger and loneliness and need rescue. Perhaps we can't rescue them, but at least we can inspire them not to go completely over the edge.

So look out for the kids who never says anything to anyone or keep their distance... Say hi or smile at them even if they don't return it. Try to make them laugh or strike up a conversation. Keep at it. We all need friends and acquaintances, some are just better at making them than others.

Demons

It is truly terrible to hear about the latest news coming out of Virginia. With all the shootings that have happened over the last decade, I've occasionally wondered if demons have been at work in any or all of the individuals responsible for these heinous crimes. I know we in the Church use that explanation sometimes, especially in the wake of our own terrible tragedy. But having only heard ministers discuss this topic from time to time about some weird happenings at a dorm in Big Sandy, or a haunted house, or some deranged person at some Feast site, I haven't really figured out how we know when it's a demon and when it's just a weird person or a strange coincidence that our mind tries to comprehend. How many mentally insane people out there are demon possessed? How many are epileptics like the one Jesus healed? Are we chalking up demon possession to "abnormal psychology" too much? How can we possibly "test the spirits" as we are instructed to do in Scripture? As the end times come closer and closer, we're told that demons will be running rampant more and more and it's something I don't know hardly anything about. I know it's difficult to answer these questions, and it may be God's inspiration that we are even able to discern spirits. Thoughts or comments?

The Past Few Weeks...

...Have been slightly busy. And we have company staying with us this weekend to top it all off. But that's something to look forward to, in my mind. Finally... Slaves to help us unpack more! :)

We closed on the condo just before we left to fly down to Dallas to spend the weekend with Marshall. Yes, I realize that a vacation is not the most rational thing to do in the middle of moving, but I seriously didn't think we'd have a buyer by then, much less be moving the week afterward, so we booked some ridiculously cheap fares. All in all, it was good to get away and rest for a bit. We had a good 4-days of rest and relaxation except when I was helping Marshall change his tire only an hour after getting into town. I told him that road sucked... :) An iPod back-light makes an excellent flashlight, by the way. But a weekend of disc golf, some social time and catching up on sleep really made the follwoing week easier to bear.

We got home and had to really get crunching on the house. Our condo's buyer closed last Wednesday, and we closed on our house Thursday. It was a little disconcerting that we technically didn't have a place to live for 24 hours, but that's the way things go. But the buyer graciously gave us until the following Sunday to get our stuff out. While at Marshall's house, Rachel and I were convinced that garage floor paint was a good idea, so I invested in the stuff and set out to "get it done Thursday night". Well, if you ever try that endeavor, forget about it. After pouring oil-remover, spray washing the floor 4-5 times, squeegeeing after each time, super scrubbing the entire floor with some sort of solvent, then spray washing another time or two, then finally putting in some floor crack putty, that was the evening. Friday afternoon, we didn't get much done either, so Saturday night was going to be the big push to get everything fully packed and the floor painted. The floor was painted, and we threw down decorative "flakes" on top of it. If you ever have the chance to watch grown men trying to throw down what appears to be sparkles in a manly fashion... well, it can't be done. "Ssssssthparkles," I kept saying as I threw flakes on the floor with a nice lissssthp. The fumes didn't make us any less loopy. Meanwhile, Rachel was packing as fast as a 5-month pregnant woman can, but eventually called it a night.

The next morning came, and I realized that I still had a bunch of packing left to do. So I spent 30 minutes gathering electrical stuff, cords and computers into boxes. Then I was off to get the U-Haul. However, the place wasn't open at the 9:00 opening time I was promised. I attempted not to freak out since I legally had to be out of the condo that afternoon, and called a buddy that I knew had access to a box truck. Fortunately for us, someone finally showed up 20 minutes late looking, shall I say, a tad ragged. So I got a 26-foot truck and had a blast driving that around. We got a few more helping hands than I was expecting and got everything into the truck and several cars. Time to head over to the new house... Let me tell you, driving a 26-foot truck empty is fun, but fully loaded? I have a new-found respect for truck drivers when they drive slowly now. We got everything unloaded and had committed ourselves to going to Todd and, now, Barb Lee's wedding. But first, we figured it would be a good idea to make sure we had somewhere to sleep that night. So we constructed the bed. It was the most unorganized move we've had yet, but I think we've accumulated twice as much stuff since the last move.

This week, we've been knocking out a room or two over a few nights and our house is slowly coming together. I discovered that when you have DSL, it's nice to have a phone line where you're putting the computer. Of course, that was a gross miscalculation on my part, expecting there to be a phone line in every part of the house, like, say, the downstairs. Wireless networking to the rescue. We've overcome a few bugs, but we've been seriously blessed by this home and are grateful for all the help that people provided over the last couple of weeks. If anything, their presence kept us sane. I've been looking forward to the day that I can just come home, feel at home, and sit back and relax without worrying about some task I have to do, and that moment looks to be just over the horizon.

On another note, Rachel went in for her ultrasound yesterday. It appears that we have an active little baby boy! Which might explain Rachel's stomach pains the last several days... I guess he lodged his spine next to her ribcage, so I'm sure that's fun. So next on the list of things to do: names. These have been our ideas so far:

Martin Skor Keesee
Farrell Keesee (say it out loud)
Satchel Keesee (ditto)
Kasey Keesee just seems too goofy.

Rachel has vetoed any of the top 20 names of the last two years. So it appears that I have a challenge in front of me. Hey, I named a ferret and a pomeranian, so how hard could a little boy be? Ah, I know, Intra Keesee. Della Keesee? Feel sorry for my child...

We're Getting A Home!

Just another way to show that if you ask God for help with something, He comes through!

We've been searching for a house for the past month or two and have had our townhome on the market for about 4 weeks. There are 20 others on the market within a mile of us, and we've only had one person look at ours... A guy who works at the same company I do, Cerner, who wanted someplace a little cheaper than ours. Well, out of nowhere, my real estate agent calls Monday and asks me to get some paper and a pen. So she tells me that the same guy had a deal with the condo down the street that was way underpriced, but it fell through. The condo was in a divorce situation and they were pretty much giving everything including the kitchen sink for the grand price of $100K. Of course, we couldn't afford to offer that (we wanted more like $106K). But as it turns out, neither could the other condo… I guess the gal selling it didn't understand the concept of real estate fees, roughly 3-6% of the total sale of the home. Oops. So she would have had to pay to sell it. So my real estate agent put together this low-ball offer for the guy to attract him to our court. Since she's basically both our agent and his, she was willing to take a hefty pay cut on our house since she knew she'd be getting a chunk from the house we'd be buying. And we're getting the buyer a furniture gift card to buy some furnishings to make his moving process a little easier. Long story short, we went and looked at a house again Tuesday night and wrote up an offer. Yesterday, they accepted it. We'll be moving March 18th in an effort to get this guy a place fast since he's living on someone's couch for the time being. So packing will begin fast and furious here in the next few nights.

Basically, we bought a front-to-back (California) split with 3 bedrooms, 2-1/2 baths and enough entertaining space for the family or any friends that come visit us… Even a nice yard for Wookiee. And it's in a safe neighborhood, too, so Rachel can run with the baby without worry. So over the next couple of weeks stress levels will be high and availability will be low... But I'm pretty excited about finally getting our own place. That's right, I'm gonna crank the stereo and enjoy my first non-attached neighbor moment. :)

Thoughts on Dating and Marriage

If you haven't heard lately, there are more and more people with fiancees lately (as well as ladies with babies). It's pretty cool if you ask me. Not even a year and a half ago, some of these people were looking around at the Feast saying that the church single's scene was just like high school. I didn't blame them necessarily, it can be, but I often wondered what made it that way. I mean, I have no real clue, honestly.

I was different (and still am in more ways than one) in that I got to get married to a great gal at an earlier stage in life. In a way, I did everything wrong growing up and still managed to get it right in the end. I dated way too early in and out of the church, mostly out, and pretty much threw anything that Mr. Weston told us to do out the window. Not out of rebellion, but because I was a romantic little moron. I would listen to the Righteous Brothers and sing Unchained Melody, dreaming of the day where I could be dancing with the woman of my dreams to it. I would go to Y.O.U. dances and look for that girl at age 13 and yet I was a tad too nerdy to get anyone to notice me... Or so it seemed. Desperate would be a good word for it. I would envy the guys who were able to ask a pretty girl to dance, but I was too dumb to figure out real confidence. "Everyone looks stupid, Mike, just go do it anyway," I would tell my 13-year old self today.

By 16, I gained that confidence, but still remained the same old romantic. And this time, I could play the romantic music. I taught myself how to write poems. I learned to dance at SEP camp when hardly anybody came back and knew how to swing dance (or they just didn't want to). I put my best foot forward to every girl that I figured would give me a chance, and some did. But with worldly girls, you have to take the good with the bad, and I did. After struggling with several relationships from 16 to my first two years in college, I had completely destroyed my innocence. Sad... And yet, the romantic inside me stayed lit up. Literally... See, romantics have this tendency to overindulge in love, in poetry, in music, in wine... Anyway, I didn't do myself any favors. To put it simply, not have a steady girlfriend in my life set my confidence level back to that of that silly little 13-year old kid. I realized that I wasn't being honest with myself or with the girls I was friends with. It was time to change.

From then on, I tried to be myself. I wasn't a poet, I was a nerd. I liked corny, warped humor. I liked Unchained Melody, but I also like Metallica and Phil Collins and UB40. The girl I was to marry had to fall in love with those sides of me. All of me. I could still be the romantic, but that wouldn't carry us through the long-term. However, I did later realize that the romantic in me always seemed to keep the opposite sex as a positive force in my life. I never let a bad relationship ruin my image of what a wonderful mate I would eventually need. I would hear a romantic song (stupid 80s music) and it would make me want a long-term companion. Someone to balance me out. A woman who sees me as I am and loves me for it. A marvelous lady who tells me that I'm worth so much to her. It's that loving nature that a woman had that I needed. In the end, it wasn't romanticism, it was a total appreciation for the significance a woman made in my life that made it such a powerful force.

They always say behind every good man is a great woman... You can't tell me that George Washington didn't have Martha at home telling him just how much of a stud he was. She also told him so about not brushing his teeth enough. Women keep us humble, too. :) Great men can't stay great if they're tyrants.

So I've given you a small slice of my life story on dating and marriage, but I wanted to draw a couple of conclusions from these stories. I've heard plenty of theories on dating in the church in the last several years. In the end, I can't honestly put myself in your position if you're currently single and wondering what's wrong with the opposite sex in this church. I was 21 when I met my future wife and 23 when I married. But I can tell you this: Fully appreciate what a man or woman could do in your life. Realize your short-comings and understand that God, through His endless sense of humor and mercy, will pair you up with someone who will change you, if you allow Him to. If you feel that the problem lies with the opposite sex, you're wrong. I've generally found that if someone sets me off, it was often times just as much my attitude problem in the end as it was theirs. Or if it was their attitude, not everyone is like that, so move on to someone else. I've also found that being appreciative of the opposite sex can make you want to spend the right kind of quality time with them talking about the right kinds of things. If you notice only tight abs or a fair face, you'll treat them that same way. But if you see your completed self in the opposite sex, a total image of God's character, then you will treat them as such and they will respond in kind.

It was fairly common that my female friends would respond positively to me when I was putting my best effort to make them feel comfortable, to be the center of my attention, and using my natural talents to show off. Cuz that's what us guys do. :) And then occasionally screw up so the girl would find something to fix. :) God wants us to find true joy and love in our lives. We do need to fix ourselves first (giving up evil habits, getting baptized, getting over past bad relationships, etc.), but then we can put our whole self into a positive relationship with the opposite sex and maybe one day find a spouse that helps us build perfect godly character.

VP of Pain

When entering the political arena, it's good to learn a little self-defense, whether it be used against character assasination, libel, or even physical harm. However, our Vice President has taken it to a whole new level. Moral: Don't mess around with Dick Cheney.

This Little Piggy Part 2

Okay, sorry, the last time I had ingrown toenail surgery, most of the nail was removed. It turns out that there was a tiny piece left and I had more surgery today to get that removed. Pain is a funny thing sometimes... It's now going on 5 months since I first got this thing. Sorry, nothing interesting to see here. Oh, and Rachel is pregnant.

Concerning Leadership...

After going through some of the initial coursework on the new Leadership Course, my mind has been thinking about the various aspects of leadership that we deal with in this life. Every one of us has been under the leadership of someone; most notably God, our parents, a boss at work, teachers, etc. Many of us have had the opportunity to lead in some way, whether by being a manager at some company, or just taking a lead role on some class project... Maybe even being a parent or an older sibling. In the Leadership Course, we're learning the proper way to becoming a leader. But in the course of our life, we come into contact with managers, bosses, and other types of leadership that can anger 0r frustrate us. I've read Paul's admonition in Ephesians 5 and 6 about the parent/child and master/servant relationships and how they apply to us. Simply put, leaders, don't abuse your power because God is your master, and servants, don't slack or give your boss less than you would Christ. Don't bicker and complain. But how do we apply that in everyday situations?

Have you ever worked for someone who's too proud of their position and gives you a lot of grief for it? Are they always reminding you of their role and power? I've almost found it laughable in some situations. I worked at Pizza Hut for 5 years in high school and a little over the summers in college. I decided during my 3rd year of college to get a job at the local Pizza Hut in my college (po-dunk) town. You should have seen the tiny kingdoms these folks set up for themselves. "I'm the waitress in charge of the salad bar." "I'm the lead assistant manager here." "Mike, you need to do your job the way I do it." Mind you, I've been doing this type of work as long or longer than many of them. But I found that by laughing about that type of behavior to myself, humbly smiling and saying, "Oh, okay, I'll be sure to do that," I tried not to start any fires. I only stayed at that job for 4-5 weeks because of class work overload, but by week 2, they were asking me for help, directions, etc. Mind you, I wasn't perceived to be in a leadership role there, I just knew what to do and people saw that. I was willing to help, or be a listening ear or whatever, and people appreciated that. They didn't feel underneath me. In fact, they befriended me as an equal, which was all I really wanted.

I'm trying not to brag here, but it was just one example that I was reminded of. Truthfully, I didn't know anybody there when I started, and my introverted side comes out when I'm uncomfortable, which makes me become quiet and courteous, even if it's a tad faked at times. :) What's stupid is when I got around people I felt comfortable around, THAT'S when I started complaining about others in the store, or talked about how I know more than others. Stupid, I know... So I need to learn to continue to be courteous and humble to everyone at all times, whether in a role of leadership or servitude. It's definitely shown me that work can be a lot smoother if we all get along.

One aspect of leadership that Mr. Millich discussed was being able to continually analyze ourselves. I think it would do us a great service to have a gigantic mirror held up to us so we can see how we really look and sound to others. Perhaps that's the beginning of God's present judgment on us and His future judgment on the rest of the world. "Here's what you're really like, Mike." Yikes! But it's only when we see what's wrong that we can do something about it. I occasionally pray for people who are completely oblivious to their abrasive personality and annoying or sinful habits, as well as my own. And I have many! When it comes to overcoming sin and our problems, it really comes down to whether we're thinking about ourselves or others. I think back to Isaiah 59:2 where it says, "But your iniquities [SELFISHNESS] have come between you and your God, and your sins [SELFISHNESS] have hidden His face from you, from hearing." We're often too busy doing our own thing to notice that we're not living God's way of service, kindness, gentleness, timeliness, patience and love. And once you've sampled the fruits of the Spirit, selfishness doesn't taste so good.

Along those lines, Mr. Ames has a great sermon out there on the church web site titled "God's Greatest Creation" that discusses how to build better character. In it, he talks about how he'll go over to someone's house and they'll be eating dinner. He might want some butter for his bread and before he can ask for it, the hostess is already offering it to him. He stated that's an example of actively looking for how we can serve others. It's a complete reversal from thinking about our own needs or priorities or pride. When you really think on that small example for a bit, you can really see thousands of instances where we can apply that principle: Do I clean up after myself, especially in other people's homes? Am I being courteous on the road or at the grocery store or even to my spouse or parents? Do I send cards to the sick? Do I pray for other people's sinful nature so they stop hurting themselves (as opposed to doing it so they'll quit hurting me) and live God's perfect way of life? That last one, isn't that the attitude behind the Work of God, making people's lives better?? Even taking the time to put yourself in someone else's shoes is serving someone because you may not like what they're doing to you, but you can at least sympathize with them. You're not retaliating because you've been there, done that. I think that's similar to one of the many reasons Christ emptied Himself to become human was to see what it was like on our level. Hebrews 4:15 - "For we do not have a high priest that cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin."

So anyway, these are a few things that I've learned in my life about some of the everyday issues with leaders and followers. Leader's and followers must ask themselves, are we trying to serve ourselves or others? We might see a lot of pride, ego or even jealousy with worldly leaders and followers, but unfortunately those aspects are a part of this world's nature that we must destroy in our own character. And these are the kinds of things that the Leadership Course is trying to address. Then we might learn what being a (servant) leader really means so we can do a better job. Or so we can sympathize with the difficult jobs leaders have. What kinds of things have you been learning from the Leadership Course?

Superstar

Has anybody else found Yanni and his Greek-goddess-of-a-wife to be this hot?? (Only minor touch-ups done to facial hair and fat cheekbone line...)

Yippee!

...And on a far less serious note...

...And on an even lesser note: "No, Mr. Richardson, I don't believe that was me talking about your momma."

Lessons from Romans

I finished up reading Romans yesterday... It's kind of interesting to note some of the major themes running through the latter parts of the letter and how those relate to both Mr. Meredith's recent messages on being a welcoming church and the situation with ministers leaving over "doctrinal" differences.

One of the themes I found became evident when I read about how brethren deal with differences in judgment on certain practices or habits. In chapter 14, Paul uses the examples of choices of diets (i.e. vegetarianism) and the importance to some of specific days of the year to point out a bigger character flaw. In the past, I would read that section of scripture and try to disprove that it was a chapter on allowing all Christians to eat unclean meats and foods. Well, I've moved beyond that and realized that, hey, there's actually some pretty serious lessons to be gleaned here. Not that it entirely escaped me before, but it became more evident with the recent examples of attitude which directed my thoughts more to this particular problem. In essence, Paul was saying that some people among the Roman Christian community were vegetarians, similar to those who may come from a Seventh Day Adventist or Jehovah's Witness background today, and that in and of itself, is not wrong spiritually. Neither were specific days that were kept by their peers, either non-pagan civic days or Jewish festivals outside of God's Holy Days, just as we might keep a day of Thanksgiving or 4th of July today. But apparently, some of the congregations of that area felt otherwise and pressed the issues into an flare up that required Paul's attention in his letter. Paul points out that this is an interpersonal issue rather than a doctrinal issue, otherwise he would have made a judgment for them to stop being vegetarians or carnivorous flesh-eaters.

One modern day example of this problem is make-up. I understand the vanity problems that arise in today's world and just how important how we look has become. I understand just how much pressure is coming from the world to look hot. I've had some of my female friends tell me they make themselves up sometimes more for the impression they make on other women than they do for looking good for the men. Men will drool just the same, I told them. :) And when it leads to a woman adoring herself in the mirror all day long and becomes a god, yeah, it's a problem. But is it really a problem for everyone at that point? Or just something that's been misused just like alcohol or video games or working out?

How often do interpersonal issues of opinion tear apart the church or send new people with good intentions packing? And it's not like those with the difference in opinion have bad intentions every time necessarily. They may hold themself to a different standard of dress, or of keeping the Sabbath, or speech, education, or whatever than you or I do. But it's when these differences are interpreted to be strict "doctrines" of the church that so-and-so enacted way back when and an argument arises over it that the tension can boil over and make it a church-leaving problem.

Sure, I've noticed things in people that, if they would only change, they'd be a whole lot happier... in my opinion. And sometimes keeping that to my ever-so-blunt self can be very difficult. So here are some things that help me to step back and deal with these issues:

• Think about whether I do the same thing in question... That usually gets me (except in make-up).
• Think about whether the issue is really a matter of salvation or just personal preference.
• Ask the question, "Can I prove from the Bible that it's a sin?"
• Talk to a minister about the general issue, not naming names.
• Let God work it out with the individual(s).

I find with the last one that He usually does, which leads to me learning a tad bit more patience. Often times, when we butt in where we don't belong, it quickly can turn into a problem. If a person is truly converted, God will eventually show them their shortcomings and help them to overcome them just like He is in our life. If we want others to know when we're overcoming and growing in grace and knowledge, we should focus more closely to find positive change in our family, friends and brethren as they grow, too.

The other side of chapter 14 is finding out what might offend our friends and family and going out of our way not to. All to often I hear (or think to myself), "So?? That's their problem, not mine!" when we're made aware of an offense we caused someone else. Sometimes our first reaction is, "They don't like that? Well, I'll show them just how bad I can be!" It used to drive my wife nuts when I popped my knuckles, and when she'd complain, guess what ol' Mikey did? You know it... I was like a bowl of Rice Krispies for the next 10 minutes. :) But in truth, I should have been far more considerate of her poor ears. So if you know that something makes another member uncomfortable or upset, try to tone it down a bit around them. Be considerate of others and be willing to go above and beyond to promote peace with those you know. If you find out that you've possibly offended someone, you might try apologizing or cease doing the action around them. Being a peacemaker is a difficult job, but it's worthwhile in the end if you can bring the church closer together or draw in new people by your example.

In conclusion, I base what I've learned in Romans 14 on two simple lessons: Try not to get offended over non-salvational issues, and try to not be offensive unless others are offended by the Truth of God! You can't always help what people think if they're not called... Romans 12:17-18 also sums it up pretty well: "Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men."